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Fall 1910,"Darlin' Muddie: can't you see how much harder you are making it all for me?"

Title

Fall 1910,"Darlin' Muddie: can't you see how much harder you are making it all for me?"

Subject

Mount Holyoke College
Relationship
Pain

Description

Marks speaks of criticisms she has received from the College and her want to "enlarge" her life

Creator

Jeannette Marks

Date

November 1 1910

Format

Correspondence

Identifier

ms0865-s01-b40-f12-i001

Text

[1]
[Nov. 1? 1910]
Ret’d by AMW
12/85
Bettows-y-Cord [??]
Tuesday morning

Darlin’ Muddie: can’t you see how much harder
you are making it all for me? Your letter this
morning simply disturbed me. If I were [?]
at [?] to leave you entirely I assumed do so
and you would be quicker at me. Can’t
you take my word and [?] one? As
I said yesterday this is not an [?] in
diplomat manner - it’s knowing for [?]
[?]. You simply must pull yourself
together and help me. In [?] time you
at hard knee [?] everything. I am
not fighting this fight for you alone although
there is no [?] thing I may attempt to
do that is not me apart for you,
for you are so much a part of me
that me that was must be so. [???]
You know very well that I am excitable but
until my second [?] and fine judgment
[2]
are doing v good. I must stop this ill-judged
and futile effort to make you feel how much
I need you and want you. Let us
work on this year as a [?] Engine
upon and stop caterwauling at cross-purposes.
I want to be so hard on myself for squealing
so much. I won’t anymore.
What you report to me about the college
does not reassure me although it does
not disturb me. People usually get
something of what they deserve and no doubt
I deserve in part all the vindictive and
vicious criticism that has followed me.
But there has been so much of it and for so
long that I feel almost entirely indifferent.
As an institution and because it is
your work I feel an interest in the

Citation

Jeannette Marks, “Fall 1910,"Darlin' Muddie: can't you see how much harder you are making it all for me?",” Digital Exhibits of the Archives and Special Collections, accessed December 16, 2017, https://ascdc.mtholyoke.edu/items/show/574.