Fall 1910,"Darlin' Muddie: can't you see how much harder you are making it all for me?"
[Nov. 1? 1910]
Ret’d by AMW
Darlin’ Muddie: can’t you see how much harder
you are making it all for me? Your letter this
morning simply disturbed me. If I were [?]
at [?] to leave you entirely I assumed do so
and you would be quicker at me. Can’t
you take my word and [?] one? As
I said yesterday this is not an [?] in
diplomat manner - it’s knowing for [?]
[?]. You simply must pull yourself
together and help me. In [?] time you
at hard knee [?] everything. I am
not fighting this fight for you alone although
there is no [?] thing I may attempt to
do that is not me apart for you,
for you are so much a part of me
that me that was must be so. [???]
You know very well that I am excitable but
until my second [?] and fine judgment
are doing v good. I must stop this ill-judged
and futile effort to make you feel how much
I need you and want you. Let us
work on this year as a [?] Engine
upon and stop caterwauling at cross-purposes.
I want to be so hard on myself for squealing
so much. I won’t anymore.
What you report to me about the college
does not reassure me although it does
not disturb me. People usually get
something of what they deserve and no doubt
I deserve in part all the vindictive and
vicious criticism that has followed me.
But there has been so much of it and for so
long that I feel almost entirely indifferent.
As an institution and because it is
your work I feel an interest in the
Jeannette Marks, “Fall 1910,"Darlin' Muddie: can't you see how much harder you are making it all for me?",” Digital Exhibits of the Archives and Special Collections, accessed July 20, 2018, https://ascdc.mtholyoke.edu/items/show/574.