Winter 1901, "My precious little sister - I had written so far"

Winter 1901, "My precious little sister - I had written so far"

Love

Religion

Relationship

Health

Woolley speaks of her weekend activities and how her love for Marks has deepened

Mary Woolley

January 4 & 6 1901

Correspondence

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[1]
Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley
1’4’1901
Friday evening - 9.15

My precious little Sister - I had
written so far when I had to
stop - for what, do you think?
To eat a “Welsh Rabbit” which a
Dartmouth man has just sent up to
me! He is visiting his sister and
they are having a small chafing-
dish party in the dining-room.
I met him last year at Welles-
ley so we are quite [ink stain] old friends
(please excuse - I do not know
as how it came!)
and have had a very pleasant hour
around my open fire-
Dearest, I expect to see you tomorrow
morning - but am writing in case it
storms too hard for me to go, to Boston.
[2]
I am rather tired and must get
up early, so this is simply a word of
love. I am anxious about your
cough or cold, to be more exact - and
hope that I may see you tomorrow to
judge for myself. Mine is better, I
think, but it has been a hard
pull this week on account of it.
I enclose this note from Clara
Comstock to show you what my
friends say about you behind your
back - you could not return it.
All love for my Dearest,
Your own May.
[3]
Mt. Holyoke College 1
South Hadley
1’6’1901
Sunday morning -
Dearest, it is just after breakfast and before
I begin to dress for church I wish to
have a little talk for with my Darling - It shall
not be such a “scrappy” one today - I shall
try other days to have it more than the
page or two which the busy days this last
week have made necessary.
I have been reading your Sunday letter
my Darling - oh! my Love, there has been an
ache in my heart ever since I left you
last night - I love you so deeply, so
tenderly my precious Sister - Do you know it,
do you realize what you are to me, my
dearest, dearest friend, my sister - my love,
whom I trust with my whole heart, to whom
I have given my whole love - who holds the
very [?] place of my heart, with the precious
little home circle - whom I love beyond my words
to express? My Darling - My Darling - it almost
[4]
broke my heart to leave you last night - I
longed to take you into my arms, to kiss
away the tears, to hold you close to me and
tell you fast, I love you as I never dream-
ed that I should love, with my whole heart
and Soul. My Love, if anything should happen
to you, it would take the very heart out of
me - Dearest, do be careful, for my sake, my
own, precious Jean - My heart is crying out for
you this morning. I want you, I want you,
oh my Darling - Do you not know that
people and things here are a part of my
work which I wish to do, faithfully and
as well as I can, with God’s help and the
love of [you crossed out] my own little Sister and my dear
mother and father. That is my stronghold -
I depend upon you so, Dearest! But my work
is one thing - I am interested in it - I intend
to put myself into it - but it is not
myself. You are that - my very heart -
my Love - I love you as I never dreamed
that I could love! I knew that such
love existed - but no friend had ever before
come into my life as you have come into
[5]
it - Every day this love becomes a deeper ex- 2
perience - Your love for me is wonderful -
I feel that I am not worthy of it - I
wonder why this great gift has come
into my life. I think that I feel its
preciousness more every day - and realize
how few people in this wide world are
so rich as to have such a love, such
a lover - David said of Jonathan - “Thy love
to me was wonderful, passing the love of
women” - Dear Heart - Thy love to me is
wonderful, passing the love of men - I can
imagine no greater happiness than to be
loved as you love me and to give in
return, the love of my whole heart and
life - without reserve - God bless you and
keep you, my precious but, my Sister, my own
Love.
12.20 P.M.
I am home from church, Communion service
and a very impressive one - but oh! my
Darling - such a wave of loneliness as is
[6]
sweeping over me today! I feel so apart
from all that is dearest to me in this
world - I can hardly keep back the tears
and yet I must smile and keep a brave
front to the world, this little world, which
I can feel, is watching every mood. Darling
I know that you wish me to tell you
everything - so does the dear little mamma,
but it would make her sick with anxiety
should she know just how I feel - Your
face and hers kept coming before me in
church this morning - Darling, do not think
me weak if I say that I wondered
whether, after all, I had made a mistake
in not going to Providence - whether the
smaller opportunity was not the one to take
since it would have meant being nearer
home. I shall not breathe this to any
one else - “He that putteth his hands to
the plough----------” but I must talk
with you, Darling, for this morning life
seems so short and the only thing possible
to real happiness, to be with the ones who
[7]
are dearest. Do say a word of comfort, 3
Dearest, that you think that I am
doing the work which God would
have me do, that I can, in this way, bring
as great happiness to my little mother
as if I had chosen otherwise. I
think of her, because I know that my
father is really happier in having me
here than at Brown, although he would
like to have me near home-
2 P.M.
Dinner is over and the girls are
chatting and laughing in the parlors
and halls. Everyone seems happy and I
am too, although my heart is in Boston
and Pawtucket - You could hardly call
it a half-hearted happiness, could you,
since my whole heart is with my dear
ones? Dearest, I, too, will be brave
Some time I shall have my little Sister
with me - and then all the work and
responsibility will be easier. But, my Darling,
[8]
I wish you to realize that I am
not short-sighted and I would not have
you do for me this year what you would
request, a little later. I hope that we
have many years of life and work
before us - and we must act on that
presumption - May God guide us to a
wise and right decision now.
Now My Sweet-heart, I will write to
mamma for a time and then put on
my blue wrapper and blue slippers
and lie down. Two girls came in after
dinner for a few minutes - Then I
closed my door for Sunday afternoon I
shall try to keep entirely to myself--
as I did at Wellesley - How happy I
shall be when that “entirely” can
mean what it did at Wellesley last
year! Do you remember that yesterday
was the anniversary of the night when
you realized that I needed you and
that you might love me as much as
you would? Just one year ago that
[9]
you came in to find me ill and wanting
you, so that your hard heart melted!
10.15 P.M.
Goodnight, my Darling, I am
feeling better - The day has done
me good and I am sure that
God will care for us and guide
us. May He bless you, my precious
one.
Your own May